| The JEDI REPORT: Rise of the Champions, the Jedi legacy |
| Av Geir Pedersen, 10. August 2003 |  | Let there be light.....
I want to welcome you all to a special edition of the J-report. As we all know one inside the Jedi community has just taken our religion, backgammon, to a new level. The dark fortress of Monte Carlo could not resist the power in motion, as Jon Kristian Røyseth rose to the occasion. A small step for us, one big step for human kind! Is that a tear coming from my eye? Is that Queen in my CD player? Am I getting soft?
I have walked through the valley of shadows with nothing less than a pair of dice, I’ve seen answers to questions you didn’t even know existed, I have done and executed stuff so classified that Area 51 looks like a picnic facility for retired grandmothers. If my knowledge in any way should fall into the wrong hands, global mass hysteria will be the only result. The world is just not ready…yet. But…still. I am going to reveal to you today one of the darkest secrets in the history of the Jedi Academy. If not for the sake of the backgammon community, maybe for the future of backgammon itself, I am going to tell you the story of Project JKR-1.
JKR-1 is a prototype. Originally he was not fully a machine; still not human…He was a Champion. He was designed and programmed in one of the top-secret science facilities of the J-Academy in the late 90’s. In the beginning he was trained and programmed like a usual neural network. Of course pathetic programs such as Snowie and Gnu were never used in the educational stage. That would only corrupt the standards normally attached with the J-Academy. Instead, to perform at the highest standards, he was exposed to billions of matches against the central nerve of command, the Jedi himself. The neural circuits known from standard neural networks was replaced with 22’th century technology…and he learned. He was created to enhance the Academies defence, and his mission was simply to serve and protect. The only aggressive targets which was programmed into the central mainframe of his memory was to beat, outclass and totally humiliate players from the south of Norway, something that have always been like a hobby of the members of the Academy anyway, no harm was ever intended.
In the beginning everything went well. We thought we could control him. In NM 2000 and the Master Playoffs 2002 everything went smoothly. His circuits responded perfectly. The Academy had already overtaken Norway, and with JKR-1 with his side, the Jedi himself could take the time to expand the Academies influence beyond the borders of Norway. Together with Lt. Samson Hoiigard, the Jedi went to Aalborg in an attempt to restore the game in Denmark. As a result of this special commander Phillip Morris is today keeping things on track in Aalborg, while Dice Force-1 General, Daniel Sørensen, keeps things up to speed in Odense. Aarhus only exsists because I say so, call it a gesture of good will. Anyway, at this point of time, 2001, things started to go wrong. When JKR-1 no longer had the constant supervision and guidance of the Jedi Grandmaster, things started to corrupt…. The consequences were massive! The neural circuits started in some way, unknown to present technology, to reproduce! The human factors inside JKR-1 vanished, like a double 3 on a closed board, and he stopped responding to the chain of command. His originally mission, to serve and protect, was replaced by a far more aggressive virus, and before the Jedi made it back from Denmark JKR-1 had started his own campaign. He hit international targets! The effect was devastating. Monte Carlo 2003, Nordic open 2004, Las Vegas 2004…to mention a few. As we created a monster, we tried to make it right. Before the final in Monte Carlo we used the Academies resources, hacked into the mainframe of the prototype that we originally programmed and we tried to shut JKR-1 down. But it was to late. We could only slow him down. His mutated cyber-electronic system had already integrated and partly taken over the J.E.D.I information network, which is the most sophisticated computer facility on this planet. His lethal playing level was set on constant Jedi Menace-level, not retrieved by any known computer system until the 22’th century. To mortal backgammon players such as Grandell, Gransted, Schiman etc, he was of course invincible. Even the Israelis, who is known to go «shopping» during tournaments, could not stop him. I truly witnessed the last part of the Monte Carlo final with a heavy heart, knowing that this was not fairness for the rest of the backgammon community. The following scene is from the last stages of the match at 17-17. JKR-1 has just thrown 66 and is about to turn the bear off around. The Israeli are shaking their money, Morten Holm is sweating, but despite the Israelis efforts and Holms prayers, JKR-1 is not responding to any deal, it was never an option in his original program. And as a response to Tissonas last whisper of help JKR-1 in an ice cold, unaffected way…respond «I can’t…xxxusfrm, somebody is—xfcafa corrupting my…xxxxasga…program.» He talks slowly….as his neural circuits are fighting against the J.E.D.I information networks interruption…, a battle he unfortunally also wins. As the last pieces fall into place, you can see the radioactive spark coming from one of JKR-1’s eyes, as he nails the last pips into Tissonas coffin while slowly stating,…»I…AM…ONLY…A MACHINE»
Tissonas last cry for help, and some other Israeli checkbooks have been excluded from this report, as this staff, unlike the World Champion, of course is open for «Christmas presents»
Although JKR-1 still is loyal to the Jedi Academy, I have to warn you that not even I have the power to control him. So be aware, there is a war coming. Or as the old man said…
He’ll be back…
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